The New Caregiver's Checklist: Your First 90 Days

You've just realized - or had it confirmed - that a parent needs more support than they're getting. The to-do list feels overwhelming, the stakes feel high, and there's no obvious starting point. Here's the 90-day checklist that gets you from overwhelmed to organized.

Days 1-7: Safety and Orientation

Assess Immediate Safety

• Is your parent safe where they are right now? Walk through the home: fall hazards, medication management, food availability, social check-in
• If there are immediate safety concerns (unsafe alone, active fall risk with no monitoring), address those first - everything else can wait

Contact the Primary Care Physician

• Call the physician's office and share your specific observations (this may require HIPAA authorization - ask)
• Request an appointment focused on your parent's current situation and care needs
• Ask whether a geriatric assessment would be appropriate

Locate Essential Documents

• Does a power of attorney exist? Healthcare proxy? Advance directive? Will? Find out.
• Locate insurance cards: Medicare, supplemental, long-term care insurance if applicable
• Get contact information for current physicians

Days 8-30: Build the Foundation

Get Legal Documents in Order

• If POA, healthcare proxy, and advance directive don't exist, this is the most urgent non-safety priority
• These require your parent's capacity - don't wait
• Contact an elder law attorney or use a reputable online service

Build the Medical Picture

• Attend the physician appointment; get HIPAA authorization to receive direct communications
• Compile the complete medication list including OTC medications and supplements
• Request a medication review for potential interactions and high-risk medications
• Understand all current diagnoses and their status

Do the Financial Inventory

• What are your parent's income sources? Social Security, pension, investments?
• What assets exist? Savings, home equity, retirement accounts?
• Does long-term care insurance exist? Find the policy and review it.
• Are there VA benefits your parent is entitled to?

Home Safety Assessment

• Walk through the home for fall hazards: loose rugs, stairway rails, bathroom grab bars
• Check bathroom: grab bars, non-slip surfaces, adequate lighting
• Consider requesting an occupational therapist home visit (often covered by Medicare post-hospitalization)
• Medical alert system if your parent is at fall risk or lives alone

Notify Siblings

• Share what you've learned with all key family members - same information to everyone
• Schedule a family meeting within the next two weeks
• Don't make major decisions without sibling input; don't wait indefinitely for consensus

Days 31-60: Build the Care System

Family Meeting

• Current situation review with specifics
• Decision about immediate care needs: is current arrangement adequate? What supplements are needed?
• Assignment of specific responsibilities

Research Professional Care Options

• Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (call 211 or eldercare.acl.gov)
• Research in-home care agencies in your area; interview 2-3
• Tour 1-2 assisted living communities even if not needed now - understanding the options prevents panic later

Build the Information Document

• Medical summary document (diagnoses, medications, providers, insurance)
• Emergency protocol sheet
• Financial overview

Days 61-90: Optimize and Sustain

Review What's Working

• Is the current care arrangement adequate? What gaps remain?
• Is caregiver load distributed appropriately among family?
• Is there a respite plan in place?

Schedule the Ongoing System

• Regular check-in schedule for your parent
• Regular family update cadence (monthly call works for most families)
• Calendar reminder for annual care plan review
• Physician appointment schedule for the next 12 months

Your Own Check-In

• Is the current arrangement sustainable for you?
• Do you have adequate support - respite, sibling involvement, professional care?
• Have you told someone how you're doing?